You Don’t Have to Earn Rest: When Burnout Becomes Paralysis

You Don’t Have to Earn Rest

My house was a wreck. The dishes were piled up, the laundry was waiting to be folded, and I hadn’t even thought about what to make for dinner. The kids were at school, my husband was at work, and the house was quiet — but I was exhausted. Burned out.

So I sat down on the sofa for a few minutes, just to “catch my breath.”
I meant to scroll my phone for half an hour.
Next thing I knew, it was time to start the carpool caravan.

Cue the panic. Nothing was done. No dinner plan. The house looked exactly the same — maybe worse.
And then came the shame spiral: Why can’t I get anything done?

What I didn’t know at the time was that this wasn’t rest.

It was paralysis.

When Burnout Becomes Paralysis

Burnout doesn’t always look like crying or falling apart. Sometimes it looks like doing nothing — because you physically and mentally can’t do anything.

I remember reaching out to a therapist during that season, describing what I was feeling: the exhaustion, the fog, the stuckness. She listened quietly and then said, “Ahh… you’re paralyzed.”

It had a name. Which meant it wasn’t just me.

Burnout paralysis is real — it’s your nervous system’s version of an emergency brake. You’ve been pushing so hard for so long that your brain and body finally say, no more.
And you’re not alone: recent research shows that 57% of parents report feeling burned out (Talkspace, 2023).

The American Psychological Association defines burnout as “the mental and physical fallout from accumulated stress in any sphere of life, including parenting.”
In other words: it’s not weakness. It’s the result of too much, for too long.

We Were Trained Not to Rest

My mother-in-law grew up in rural Mississippi. Her father used to tell the kids when they stopped working in the garden, “You can pick weeds while you sit.”

That line has stuck with me.

We were raised by a generation that rarely rested — and when they did, it was usually while still doing something “useful.” Our culture rewards hustle and praises “busy.” Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom trying to live up to an impossible image of what a “good mom” should do, or a working mom surviving the Atlanta commute and juggling after-school and travel-sports chaos, we’ve been conditioned to equate rest with laziness.

And if you’re parenting a neurodiverse child or caring for aging parents, the mental load is constant — the list just resets each morning.

Before I Understood What Burnout Really Was

Before I ever understood what burnout really was, there were already plenty of days when I wasn’t “doing it all.” In fact, there were whole stretches when I did almost nothing — at least nothing that actually helped.

I’d sit on the couch, phone in hand, zoning out on social media or watching another forgettable Netflix show. I wasn’t resting; I was escaping. The kids would ask something, and I’d mumble a distracted “just a second.” My husband would come in, and I’d barely look up. The to-do list would be there in the corner along with the pile of unfolded laundry, silently mocking me.

That wasn’t laziness or indifference — it was burnout paralysis. I didn’t have the energy to engage, but I also couldn’t fully rest. My body was begging me to stop; my brain just didn’t know how.

When My Body Finally Forced Me to Stop

It wasn’t until my body quite literally made me rest that I finally understood how deep my burnout had gone.

In late 2018, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called IgA Nephropathy, and only a few months later, I learned I also had Stage 1 breast cancer. My body was waving every red flag it could find to get my attention.

During treatment, I started to rest in a way I never had before — by doing absolutely nothing. I’d lie down, close my eyes, and let myself simply be. No multitasking, no mental to-do list running in the background, no pressure to make the moment productive. For the first time in my adult life, I allowed myself to stop doing and start being.

That’s when I began to understand: rest isn’t weakness; it’s repair.

So many of the moms I work with — especially here in East Cobb and Roswell — live inside a constant race we never signed up for. The “suburban Olympics” of perfect schedules, perfect homes, perfect kids. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom trying to keep up with the group-chat highlight reel, or a working mom surviving the Atlanta commute and juggling after-school and travel-sports chaos, it’s a nonstop cycle of motion with no true rest built in.

By the time burnout hits, you’re too tired to even want to do anything — and that’s when burnout paralysis creeps in. It’s not laziness. It’s your nervous system begging for relief.

I had to learn that rest didn’t mean failure; it meant recovery.

Learning to Rest on Purpose

As I healed, I gradually returned to doing more. But then one day I realized I’d fallen back into my old pattern — forgetting to rest.
That’s when I finally learned: rest doesn’t need to be earned. It’s how you sustain yourself.

I began using mindful tools: meditation, breathing exercises, getting outside, gentle movement, and micro-rest moments between tasks. I started listening for early signs of burnout.

I also learned to let go of control. When I got sick, my husband and boys stepped up around the house — and I learned to let them. I realized how often I’d chosen exhaustion over imperfection.

Those lessons changed me.

Rest as a Form of Healing

Now, as I navigate life as a working mom and therapist, I try to practice what I teach:

• Taking mindful pauses during overwhelm.

• Delegating instead of over-functioning.

• Letting “good enough” be good enough.

And in my therapy practice, Rise Gently Therapy, I help other women do the same. I work with moms who are burned out, frozen, or on the edge — helping them see the patterns that got them there and gently rewrite their script.

Sometimes that looks like learning to set boundaries. Sometimes it’s rebuilding trust in your body. And sometimes, it’s simply sitting with someone who reminds you:

You don’t have to earn rest. You deserve it because you’re human — and you don’t have to do this alone.

If you’re ready to slow down, breathe, and start finding your way back to yourself, schedule a consultation call.

Want something gentle to start with? Download my Gentle Tools handouts — small, practical ways to care for yourself when you’re burned out and overwhelmed.

Resources & References

•  American Psychological Association: Parental Burnout (2021)

• Talkspace (2023): Battling Mom Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Energy

• Ohio State University Wellness Report (2022): Examining the Epidemic of Working Parental Burnout

• National Kidney Foundation: IgA Nephropathy

Why I Started Rise Gently Therapy

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I remember it clearly, as if it were yesterday. It was 2021, a couple of years after I’d already faced some of the hardest seasons of my life. I was sitting in my van in the grocery store parking lot, trying to summon the energy to go inside.

I had to get this done so I could make it to the carpool line at the elementary school early enough to get out quickly, and then rush to the special-needs private school six miles away and stake out a spot near the front of that carpool line so I could—once again—get out quickly. From there, my oldest and youngest and I would head through Atlanta traffic to pick up my middle son from his private school twenty-five miles away.

By the time we were all finally in the car together—three tired boys and one equally tired mom—I was bracing myself for the drive home through rush-hour traffic. The boys somehow always argued more when they could sense my exhaustion and anxiety, which only made everything feel louder and heavier. It was a cycle I couldn’t seem to break. I’d rush to get supper started while they let loose all their pent-up energy, trying to help with homework while juggling dinner. Through all of it, I was stretched thin—frustrated, overwhelmed, and ready to explode. I often did. I’d yell and snap at my kids, my dogs, even myself.

It was early April, and our family was struggling as my husband pushed through the end of tax season—working seven days a week and usually over eighty hours. The kids were missing him, and I was too. We had just come out of the early days of COVID lockdowns, and now we were trying to adjust to new schools, new routines, and a pace of life that left no room to breathe.

By mid-April, I was limping through each day. When tax season finally ended and my husband could help with school pick-ups again, I felt like I could finally exhale—but only a little. By late May, school was out, the kids were home, and I had nothing left to give.

The first few weeks of summer, I lived in my “comfy clothes” and watched a whole lot of nothing on TV while scrolling my phone. My boys turned half feral, staying up too late and playing too many video games. My husband came and went, just as tired as I was. I knew something had to change, but I didn’t know where to start.

Finally, I told him I couldn’t keep doing life at that pace—that the constant driving and pressure were wearing me down. No amount of rest was touching the exhaustion. So, I started taking small steps to reconnect with myself. I began waking up a little earlier for a quiet moment before the house stirred. Instead of turning on the TV, I read, journaled, or sat with a cup of coffee. I went outside more. I let the boys play in the yard instead of dragging them to planned activities.

Those small choices started to help. That summer, I insisted that we adjust our family’s pace—fewer last-minute decisions, more breathing room, more grace. I stopped chasing the ideal of the “perfect mom” and gave myself permission to be a good-enough one. I quit listening to outside judgments about how I “should” parent or what I “should” cook. Sometimes, dinner was pizza or chicken nuggets, and that was okay.

Little by little, I began to recognize myself again.

I thought I’d already learned how to slow down. I’d been through illness, recovery, and reflection, but somehow, the noise crept back in. Life got busy again, and so did I.

The truth is, I’d already had a wake-up call a few years earlier, when my body drew a line I couldn’t ignore. What started as constant fatigue and pain became a clear message: I couldn’t keep pushing at this pace. Within just a few months, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that caused a serious chronic illness—and then, cancer. Everything stopped. The life I’d been sprinting through came to a full, screeching halt.

That season taught me what real rest looked like and how fiercely my body would fight for it when I wouldn’t listen. But as time passed and the world sped up again, I slowly slipped back into old habits—the same rushing, the same noise, the same belief that I could keep pushing if I just tried harder.

In those months of forced stillness—the quiet space I’d avoided for years—I started listening. To my body. To my mind. To my heart. That’s when I began to understand what healing really meant. Not powering through. Not performing wellness. But learning to rise gently, exactly as I was.

My “cancer year” was 2019, and then COVID arrived. Like everyone else, our family suddenly had more time together than ever before. And in that stillness, I saw clearly how I was showing up—how often I yelled, how tense and impatient I had become, how little joy I was feeling in the very moments I’d longed for. Facing my own mortality while watching my kids grow older made it impossible to ignore how fast time was moving. The old saying was right—the days are long, but the years are short.

So I began again, with small things. A few deep breaths alone in my bedroom. Short walks instead of longer workouts. Letting “enough” be enough. As I found small pockets of calm, I started to feel present again. I began enjoying time with my boys—not in grand, picture-perfect moments, but in ordinary ones. We found little ways to connect, to laugh, to be together. And slowly, gently, I started to feel like myself again.

As I found myself again—treating my body and spirit with compassion and love—I began to rise from the deep place where I had landed in by the time my body demanded rest. I started to recognize that I wasn’t in that same dark space anymore; I was slowly, quietly, rising up.

One day, while describing this to a friend, we talked about how healing didn’t feel like a triumphant leap forward. It felt gentle, steady, and grounded. That word—gently—stayed with me. It felt like everything I had been learning: that growth doesn’t have to be fast, and rest isn’t failure.

As I continued to heal, I started looking beyond my own family and noticing the women around me. I realized that while I had felt so alone in my burnout, there were so many other moms just like me—trying so hard, giving so much, and quietly breaking under the weight of it all.

I began to think about how I could help them rise gently too. I thought about my journey before kids, my work as a mother, and the professional skills I’d gained through my training and experience. I realized I had the tools, the compassion, and the perspective to do this work in a meaningful way.

And that’s how Rise Gently Therapy was born.



When the name came to me, it felt perfect—because it captured exactly what I wanted to help others do, and how I wanted to show up in the world. It became the guiding phrase for everything I do: to rise, yes—but to rise gently.

If any part of my story sounds familiar, please know you’re not alone. Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken—it’s a sign that your mind and body are asking for something different. Healing doesn’t have to look big or dramatic. Sometimes it starts with a single breath, a small boundary, or a moment of rest that reminds you you’re still here.

I’d be honored to help you find your own gentle way forward—to rediscover yourself, reclaim your calm, and rise again, one small step at a time.

Or if you are ready to start your gentle rise

Burned Out, Not Just Broken: How Therapy Helps You Rise Gently

Lately, it feels like everyone’s running on empty — trying to hold it all together while quietly falling apart. Maybe you’ve been the one smiling through exhaustion, pushing through another day while wondering when it’ll finally feel easier. You’re not weak for feeling this way. You’re just human — and probably carrying far more than anyone realizes.

You’re Not Lazy. You’re Not Failing. You’re Burned Out.

There’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that creeps in when you’ve been carrying too much for too long.
It doesn’t announce itself with fanfare — it just slowly steals your energy, your spark, and the parts of you that used to feel alive.

I know because I spent years living in that space — holding it all together on the outside while slowly running out of steam inside. Here in East Cobb, I see so many women doing the same thing — taking care of everyone else while quietly losing sight of what they need to feel whole.

Burnout isn’t the end of your story. It’s the sign you need a new chapter.

Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just get it together?” Spoiler: there’s nothing “wrong” with you. You’re not broken — you’re burned out. And that difference matters more than you think.

The Myth of Being “Broken”

Somewhere along the line, women started believing that if we can’t juggle everything — the kids, the job, the meals, the emotional labor, the invisible load — we must be failing. But burnout isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a signal.

A signal that your mind, body, and heart have been in overdrive for too long.
That your system is asking — begging — for rest, compassion, and recalibration.

Therapy doesn’t “fix” you because you’re not broken. It helps you slow down, breathe, and reconnect with the parts of yourself that got buried under everyone else’s needs.

What Burnout Really Looks Like (and Why It’s Not Your Fault)

Burnout isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s subtle —

• Snapping at your kids when you don’t mean to.

• Crying in the car and then pretending you’re fine five minutes later.

• Feeling too tired to enjoy things that used to fill you up.

• Wanting to rest but not knowing how to stop without feeling guilty.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
Burnout is a survival response — your body and brain’s way of saying, “We can’t keep going like this.”

How Therapy Helps You Rise Gently Again

In therapy, we create space for your nervous system to exhale.
We explore the layers of your exhaustion with compassion, not judgment — and rebuild your capacity from the inside out.

You’ll learn to:

• Recognize your burnout patterns (before you crash).

• Set boundaries without guilt.

• Practice simple grounding tools to calm your mind and body.

• Reconnect with what actually feels nourishing — not just “productive.”

You can’t pour from an empty cup — but you can learn how to refill it.

Therapy isn’t about adding another thing to your to-do list.
It’s about remembering that you are allowed to be cared for, too.

Start Small: Your Gentle Reset Toolkit

If you saw yourself in these words, take a breath — and take something with you.
I created a free resource to help you start refilling your cup: The Gentle Reset Toolkit.

It’s a small collection of grounding practices and gentle reminders — simple, doable steps for the days when you don’t feel like yourself.

You’ll find

• A quick grounding practice you can do anywhere

• A self-compassion reflection

• A gentle mindset reframe to remind you that rest isn’t a reward — it’s essential

Download your free Gentle Reset Toolkit here.

You’re Allowed to Rise Gently

If you’re ready to start feeling like you again — therapy can help you find your way back.

Whether you’re a mom running on fumes, a caregiver constantly “on,” or just someone trying to hold it all together, you deserve support.

💬 Feeling ready to take the next step? Schedule your free consultation and start your gentle rise today.

Am I Burned Out or Just Tired? How to Tell the Difference

You keep asking yourself, “Am I burned out or just tired?” The lines blur when every day feels like a marathon of responsibilities. Fatigue is normal after a long week, but burnout is when the tired never fully goes away — even after rest. Learning to tell the difference matters, because what helps one won’t fix the other.

If you’re a mom — especially a special needs mom — juggling work, home, and caregiving, exhaustion probably feels like your baseline. But knowing whether you’re simply tired or truly burned out can be the key to finding relief. I know this because I spent a long time thinking I was just a tired mom with a special needs child and aging parents.

What It Means to Be “Just Tired”

Everyone gets tired. It’s your body’s way of saying, “You need to slow down.” Tiredness is usually tied to effort — maybe you stayed up too late, had a long workday, or dealt with too many errands in one stretch. The good news? Rest usually helps.

Signs you might be tired, not burned out:

• Your body feels heavy, but after a solid night’s sleep or a restful weekend, you bounce back.

• You can still enjoy things, even if you’re yawning through them.

• Your motivation is intact — you want to do the things, you’re just low on fuel.

If this sounds like you, the fix might be as simple as giving yourself permission to rest. (Easier said than done, I know.) You can check out my post on Back-to-School Chaos for some ideas on how to reset your schedule and make room for downtime.

Signs of Burnout

Burnout is different. It goes beyond tired muscles or late nights. It’s a whole-body, whole-mind depletion that doesn’t get better with a nap.

Signs you might be burned out:

• You dread starting your day, even if you slept.

• Tasks you used to handle easily now feel overwhelming.

• You feel detached or numb — like you’re on autopilot.

• Rest doesn’t fix the exhaustion.

• You’re more cynical, snappy, or hopeless than usual.

Burnout isn’t about laziness or weakness — it’s a survival response to being stretched too thin for too long. If this resonates, you’re not alone. I talk more about this in my post Burned Out, Not Just Broken, which reminds us that burnout doesn’t mean we’re broken — just human.

For more on how professionals describe burnout, the Mayo Clinic has a helpful guide.

Why the Difference Matters

Being tired and being burned out might feel similar, but they call for different solutions.

• Tiredness can often be solved with more sleep, hydration, or a quiet weekend. Your body just needs a reset.

• Burnout requires more than rest — it’s about boundaries, support, and real recovery. Think of it like this: if tiredness is a flat phone battery, burnout is a worn-out charger.

For me, ignoring the signs of burnout had real consequences. Within just two months, I was diagnosed with both an autoimmune disease and breast cancer. I can’t say burnout caused them — but I do know that years of running on empty left my body vulnerable. That was a turning point for me: realizing that exhaustion isn’t just something to push through, it’s a warning light you can’t afford to ignore.

What You Can Do Right Now

If you’re reading this and wondering which category you fall into, start here:

1. Check in with your body and emotions. Ask yourself: Does rest help me feel better? Or do I stay drained no matter what?

2. Prioritize true rest. Sleep matters, yes, but so does real downtime — time away from responsibilities, not just scrolling on your phone.

3. Talk to someone you trust. Even a short vent with a friend can help you feel less alone.

4. Take one thing off your plate. Burnout thrives when everything feels urgent. Lower the bar where you can.

And most importantly: remind yourself you don’t have to fix this alone.

A Gentle Next Step

I learned the hard way that ignoring burnout can take a toll on your health, relationships, and sense of self. You don’t have to wait until you hit rock bottom to ask for help.

Therapy can give you a safe place to untangle what’s draining you, rebuild your sense of balance, and create strategies to keep burnout from taking over.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation where we can talk about where you are right now and what kind of support might help. You don’t have to have all the answers — just showing up is enough.

Caregiver Burnout is Real — Here’s How Counseling Can Help

Caring for someone you love can be one of the most meaningful roles in life. But let’s be honest — it can also be exhausting, overwhelming, and lonely. When the weight of caregiving piles up, many people experience something called caregiver burnout: a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that makes it hard to keep going.

If you’ve ever wondered why you feel so drained or why you’ve lost your sense of self while caring for others, you’re not alone. In this post, we’ll talk about what caregiver burnout looks like, why it happens, and how caregiver burnout counseling in Marietta can help you find balance again.

What Is Caregiver Burnout?

Caregiver burnout isn’t about being weak or “not cut out” for the job. It’s what happens when the demands of caregiving outweigh your capacity to rest, recharge, and receive support.

This can affect parents caring for neurodiverse children, adult children supporting aging parents, spouses caring for a sick partner, or even professionals in helping roles. Anyone who spends their days giving more than they receive is at risk.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Burnout

Some of the most common signs of caregiver burnout include:

• Feeling physically exhausted no matter how much sleep you get.

• Becoming irritable, easily frustrated, or emotionally numb.

• Struggling to concentrate, make decisions, or remember things.

• Neglecting your own health, like skipping checkups or eating poorly.

• Feeling hopeless, stuck, or resentful of the situation.

These aren’t personal failings — they’re signals from your body and mind that you need care, too.

Why Caregiver Burnout Happens

Caregiving is often a marathon without a finish line. A few reasons burnout shows up:

• The constant emotional weight of responsibility.

• Feeling isolated or unsupported in your role.

• Financial stress or decision fatigue from managing care.

• Cultural or family messages like “I should be able to handle this.”

• Never having time for your own needs, rest, or hobbies.

When you’re always putting yourself last, burnout is almost inevitable.

How Counseling Helps

Therapy gives you a space to exhale and say what you can’t always say out loud. With caregiver burnout counseling in Marietta — and virtual sessions available across Georgia — you can:

• Share honestly without guilt or judgment.

• Learn practical tools to manage stress and set boundaries.

• Build communication strategies that reduce conflict with family members.

• Build communication strategies that reduce conflict with family members.

Counseling doesn’t erase your responsibilities, but it makes them feel lighter and more manageable.

What Support Looks Like at Rise Gently Therapy

At Rise Gently Therapy, I provide a warm, validating space where you don’t have to pretend you’re “fine.” My approach combines mindfulness, CBT, and psychoeducation, but most importantly, it centers you.

I offer both in-person sessions here in Marietta and online counseling for anyone in Georgia. Sliding scale options are available, because I believe support should be accessible.

If you’re ready to care for yourself while caring for others, I’d love to walk alongside you.

Learn more about caregiver burnout counseling in Marietta or book a free consultation today.

Conclusion

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And it means you deserve support.

You don’t have to carry this alone. Rise Gently Therapy offers burnout counseling in person in Marietta, GA, or online for clients throughout Georgia.

✨ Ready to take the next step? Book a free consultation today and begin the process of finding balance and peace again.