You Don’t Have to Earn Rest: When Burnout Becomes Paralysis
You Don’t Have to Earn Rest
My house was a wreck. The dishes were piled up, the laundry was waiting to be folded, and I hadn’t even thought about what to make for dinner. The kids were at school, my husband was at work, and the house was quiet — but I was exhausted. Burned out.
So I sat down on the sofa for a few minutes, just to “catch my breath.”
I meant to scroll my phone for half an hour.
Next thing I knew, it was time to start the carpool caravan.
Cue the panic. Nothing was done. No dinner plan. The house looked exactly the same — maybe worse.
And then came the shame spiral: Why can’t I get anything done?
What I didn’t know at the time was that this wasn’t rest.
It was paralysis.
When Burnout Becomes Paralysis
Burnout doesn’t always look like crying or falling apart. Sometimes it looks like doing nothing — because you physically and mentally can’t do anything.
I remember reaching out to a therapist during that season, describing what I was feeling: the exhaustion, the fog, the stuckness. She listened quietly and then said, “Ahh… you’re paralyzed.”
It had a name. Which meant it wasn’t just me.
Burnout paralysis is real — it’s your nervous system’s version of an emergency brake. You’ve been pushing so hard for so long that your brain and body finally say, no more.
And you’re not alone: recent research shows that 57% of parents report feeling burned out (Talkspace, 2023).
The American Psychological Association defines burnout as “the mental and physical fallout from accumulated stress in any sphere of life, including parenting.”
In other words: it’s not weakness. It’s the result of too much, for too long.
We Were Trained Not to Rest
My mother-in-law grew up in rural Mississippi. Her father used to tell the kids when they stopped working in the garden, “You can pick weeds while you sit.”
That line has stuck with me.
We were raised by a generation that rarely rested — and when they did, it was usually while still doing something “useful.” Our culture rewards hustle and praises “busy.” Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom trying to live up to an impossible image of what a “good mom” should do, or a working mom surviving the Atlanta commute and juggling after-school and travel-sports chaos, we’ve been conditioned to equate rest with laziness.
And if you’re parenting a neurodiverse child or caring for aging parents, the mental load is constant — the list just resets each morning.
Before I Understood What Burnout Really Was
Before I ever understood what burnout really was, there were already plenty of days when I wasn’t “doing it all.” In fact, there were whole stretches when I did almost nothing — at least nothing that actually helped.
I’d sit on the couch, phone in hand, zoning out on social media or watching another forgettable Netflix show. I wasn’t resting; I was escaping. The kids would ask something, and I’d mumble a distracted “just a second.” My husband would come in, and I’d barely look up. The to-do list would be there in the corner along with the pile of unfolded laundry, silently mocking me.
That wasn’t laziness or indifference — it was burnout paralysis. I didn’t have the energy to engage, but I also couldn’t fully rest. My body was begging me to stop; my brain just didn’t know how.
When My Body Finally Forced Me to Stop
It wasn’t until my body quite literally made me rest that I finally understood how deep my burnout had gone.
In late 2018, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called IgA Nephropathy, and only a few months later, I learned I also had Stage 1 breast cancer. My body was waving every red flag it could find to get my attention.
During treatment, I started to rest in a way I never had before — by doing absolutely nothing. I’d lie down, close my eyes, and let myself simply be. No multitasking, no mental to-do list running in the background, no pressure to make the moment productive. For the first time in my adult life, I allowed myself to stop doing and start being.
That’s when I began to understand: rest isn’t weakness; it’s repair.
So many of the moms I work with — especially here in East Cobb and Roswell — live inside a constant race we never signed up for. The “suburban Olympics” of perfect schedules, perfect homes, perfect kids. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom trying to keep up with the group-chat highlight reel, or a working mom surviving the Atlanta commute and juggling after-school and travel-sports chaos, it’s a nonstop cycle of motion with no true rest built in.
By the time burnout hits, you’re too tired to even want to do anything — and that’s when burnout paralysis creeps in. It’s not laziness. It’s your nervous system begging for relief.
I had to learn that rest didn’t mean failure; it meant recovery.
Learning to Rest on Purpose
As I healed, I gradually returned to doing more. But then one day I realized I’d fallen back into my old pattern — forgetting to rest.
That’s when I finally learned: rest doesn’t need to be earned. It’s how you sustain yourself.
I began using mindful tools: meditation, breathing exercises, getting outside, gentle movement, and micro-rest moments between tasks. I started listening for early signs of burnout.
I also learned to let go of control. When I got sick, my husband and boys stepped up around the house — and I learned to let them. I realized how often I’d chosen exhaustion over imperfection.
Those lessons changed me.
Rest as a Form of Healing
Now, as I navigate life as a working mom and therapist, I try to practice what I teach:
Taking mindful pauses during overwhelm.
Delegating instead of over-functioning.
Letting “good enough” be good enough.
And in my therapy practice, Rise Gently Therapy, I help other women do the same. I work with moms who are burned out, frozen, or on the edge — helping them see the patterns that got them there and gently rewrite their script.
Sometimes that looks like learning to set boundaries. Sometimes it’s rebuilding trust in your body. And sometimes, it’s simply sitting with someone who reminds you:
You don’t have to earn rest. You deserve it because you’re human — and you don’t have to do this alone.
If you’re ready to slow down, breathe, and start finding your way back to yourself, schedule a consultation call.
Want something gentle to start with? Download my Gentle Tools handouts — small, practical ways to care for yourself when you’re burned out and overwhelmed.
