You Don’t Have to Be Grateful for Everything to Be Thankful
When Gratitude Starts to Feel Like Pressure
Real gratitude is grounding and spacious. Forced gratitude feels like guilt.
If you’ve ever tried to write a gratitude list while holding back tears or exhaustion, you know the difference. Many women tell me they feel like they’re “failing” if they can’t find something positive in every situation. That’s not gratitude — that’s emotional bypassing, and it’s especially common during the holidays when expectations skyrocket.
Signs you’re experiencing forced gratitude:
• Feeling guilty for having negative emotions
• Telling yourself, “I shouldn’t complain”
• Feeling pressure to “look on the bright side”
• Feeling disconnected from the gratitude you’re writing or saying
• Feeling like gratitude equals minimizing your own pain
The Truth: Gratitude Doesn’t Require Perfection
You don’t have to be grateful for the hard things to appreciate what’s good.
You don’t have to turn every struggle into a “lesson.”
You don’t have to spiritualize burnout or wrap your pain in a bow to make it more acceptable.
You get to be human.
You get to feel more than one thing at a time.
You get to choose the type of gratitude that feels nourishing — not forced.
Three Gentle Ways to Practice Gratitude (Without Pretending Everything Is Fine)
1. Name what feels supportive right now
Not your “blessings.” Not the big-picture stuff. Just what makes today feel 1% more bearable.
Examples:
• A quiet cup of coffee
• A moment of sunlight
• A kid who slept in
• A partner who took over a task
• Something that made you smile, even for a second
This kind of gratitude doesn’t deny your reality — it anchors you inside it.
2. Acknowledge what has been hard
Honest gratitude can only exist when we allow space for honesty.
Try this journal prompt:
“What has been hard lately… and what has helped me get through it?”
You’re not required to be grateful for the hard thing — only to recognize your resilience, support, or capacity around it.
3. Practice “gentle gratitude” — not “toxic positivity”
Gentle gratitude sounds like:
• “I’m grateful for this small moment of calm.”
• “I appreciate the people who helped me today.”
• “I’m thankful for the parts of myself that keep showing up.”
Toxic positivity sounds like:
• “It could be worse.”
• “At least…”
• “Just be grateful.”
• “Good vibes only.”
One honors your reality. One erases it.
If Gratitude Feels Complicated, You’re Normal
Many women carry an enormous emotional load — caregiving, holidays, expectations, grief, anxiety, and invisible labor. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re human.
A Gentle Reminder for This Week
You don’t have to be grateful for everything.
You don’t have to find meaning in every hardship.
You don’t have to pretend this season is easier than it is.
You can be thankful and tired.
You can be appreciative and grieving.
You can be grateful and overwhelmed.
You can be hopeful and human.
If you’re craving a few simple practices to ground yourself during stressful moments, you can download my free “Gentle Reset Tools” here.
If the Holiday Season Feels Heavy, You’re Not Alone
If you’re craving space to breathe, reset, or untangle some of the overwhelm, therapy can help you create room for yourself again.
I support women in East Cobb/Marietta and across Georgia via telehealth who feel stretched thin and want a softer way to move through their days.
You deserve support too.
